Just Breathe

"When we are caught in a storm of strong emotions, we need to identify
what is causing our emotional response and gently disengage ourselves from it
straight away...and bring all our attention back to our breathing." Thich Nhat Hanh

Just Breathe

after Thich Nhat Hanh

I have never asked for the details of where she died.

From which Goodwill did she call her husband 

to say she was shopping, which Walmart did she visit 

for the donuts and orange juice she said 

she was bringing home for Father’s Day, 

where did she stop her car 

and arrange herself on the ground? 

I suspect it is on the dead end road found near 

both a Walmart and Goodwill, my hint being 

her son’s refusal to stop at a restaurant also nearby, 

saying eating there would require proximity 

to the road where he and his father found her. 

I was there recently and considered traveling it, 

as I have considered so many times  before, 

but the road is clearly marked Dead End, 

and on this day the trees had surrendered 

their leaves to a recent storm. 

These trees were barren and uninviting.

I went on my way.

Later that same morning, I passed by 

the place where she is buried, and I was startled 

by an extravagant display of fall leaves 

still clinging to a resplendent maple. 

This tree, so full of life when my child was not, 

made me weep so hard I thought

I might need to pull to the side of the road. 

The next time I weep, I shall consider
trees and how they behave in a storm,
their top branches thrashing about wildly,

fragile and vulnerable, but a deeply-rooted

trunk withstands the storm, remaining

calm, still, and upright. Just breathe.

Just breathe. I am braced for the storm.